A Few Good Oil Companies

(With apologies to Aaron Sorkin)

BP: You want answers?

America: I think I’m entitled to them.

BP: You want answers?

America: I want the truth!

BP: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that needs energy. And that energy has to be produced by men with drill rigs. Who’s gonna do it? You? Obama? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the Gulf of Mexico and you curse the oil companies. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that the drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, while tragic, produces energy. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, produces energy… You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that drill. You need me on that drill.

We use words like mud, blowout, top-kill… we use these words as the backbone to a life spent producing something. You use ’em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the blanket of the very energy I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up an engineering degree and produce your own energy. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

America: Did you order the drilling to continue?

BP: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.

America: Did you order the drilling to continue?

BP: You’re goddamn right I did!!